Monty Phyton's Flying Circus

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Ministry of Silly Walks Yearly Report

Annual Budget: 348,000,000 pounds sterling (less than national defense, social security, health, housing,
and education)

Ongoing research: the Anglo-French Silly Walk (La Marche Futile)

Confirmed intelligence reports: Japanese have a man who can bend his leg back over his head and back again with every single step.

Regected grant requests: Mr. Arthur Putey; right leg isn't silly at all, and left leg does a forward aerial half turn every alternate step.

Ministry's preferred Sillly Walk: little jumps, then three long paces without moving the top of the body.

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Ministry of Silly Walks
from
Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Silly Walks Director: Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walk has become rather silly over these months, so it takes so long to get to the office. Now,uhm, what was it again?

Silly Walks Applicant: Uh, well sir, I-I-I I have got a silly walk and I'd like to obtain government backing to help me develop it.

Silly Walks Director: I see. Well, may I see this silly walk of yours?

Silly Walks Applicant: Oh, yes, certainly.

Silly Walks Director: Yes, I see, tha-tha-that's it, is it?

Silly Walks Applicant: Ah, well, yes, that's it.

Silly Walks Director: Yes, yes, yes. It's not particularly silly, is it?

Silly Walks Applicant: Well, ah-ah...

Silly Walks Director: I mean, the left leg isn't silly at all and the right leg merely does a four dare O'Brian half turn every alternate step.

Silly Walks Applicant: Yes, but I feel with a federal grant I could make it a lot more silly.

Silly Walks Director: Mr. Stagback, the very real problem is what I find out. You see, there's defense, education, housing, health, social security, silly walks. They're all supposed to get the same. But last year the government spent less on Silly Walks than they did on industrial organisation. We're supposed to get 348 millions pounds a year to cover our entire Silly Walks proposal. Coffee?

Silly Walks Applicant: Yes, please.

Silly Walks Director: Hello, uh, Mrs. Twolumps, uhm, could we have two cups of coffee, please.

Mrs. Twolumps: Yes, Mr. Teabag.

Silly Walks Director: Mad as a hatter. You see, the Israelis they have a man who can take his own left leg offand swallow it with every alternate step, whereas the Japanese, cunning electronically obsessed little...

Mrs. Twolumps' tray: [Splash]

Silly Walks Director: Yes, thank you, Mrs. Twolumps. You're... you're really interested in silly walks, aren't you?

Silly Walks Applicant: Right there!

Silly Walks Director: Right, well, take a look at this!